For a fashion site, we’re pretty keen on the impending apocalypse, wouldn’t you say?
We’ve only mentioned the end of the world in regards to Starbucks and Henri Bendel. And then, of course, we exposed the apocalyptic warnings hidden within the collections of Sally LaPointe, Maisonette 1977, and MARTINmartin. Oh, yeah… we also brought it up again this past weekend…just for fun.
But all jokes aside, if this New York rain doesn’t stop anytime soon, we’re going to have to start boarding an arc. And by arc, I mean a luxury-class Giga yacht.
Thinking about how we’re going to deal with all of those goddamn animals is enough to induce an anxiety attack. Dare I remind you of the stress that comes with packing?! So that is why I created this helpful list:
HOW TO PACK FOR NOAH’S ARC YACHT
Before you start packing things, it’s imperative that you start considering a travel partner. Your initial thought may be to quickly find your soulmate so you can sail happily-ever-after into a sea of nothingness.
But your initial thought is wrong. Cruises are good for one thing – meeting attractive people of the opposite gender. So if you’re going to pick a person to cruise with for all of apocalyptic eternity, it might as well be someone who has great accessories.
Multi-functional clothing. No, I don’t mean jeggings. I am talking about United Nude’s Pin heel. With a shoe that doubles as a weapon, you’ll be more prepared than a soccer mom at a Kleenex conference. And a hell of a lot sexier.
Cotton is chic. And it doesn’t wrinkle like linen. Expect to be psyched when you start unrolling those 40 Lois Eastlund dresses out of your suitcase – you’ll have way more clothing options than anyone else on that boat without exceeding the luggage weight-limit. Plus, dry-clean-only is not ideal for prolonged rainstorms.
EFFEN Vodka. Need I say more?
Sun protection. But sunscreen smells, so what’s a lady to do? We suggested you invest in a wide-brim Carmen Marc Valvo hat and call it a day. It’ll also double as an excuse when you pretend to not notice your irritating neighbors waving from down the hall.
There you have it: District L – your one-stop shop for fashion news and end-of-the-world preparation. You’re welcome, dear readers.
Post by Amanda LaMela