District L

My feverish descent into today's internet k-hole has produced these beauties; if I said that I wasn't slightly disappointed that the absolute last original fashion blog idea had apparently been claimed by the genius behind FASHIMALS, I'd be flirting with falsehood.

But really though, you kind of have to just sit back, cross your arms, purse your lips into an simultaneously incredulous and awe-struck duckface, and hand it to them.

In the immortal words of Ezra Pound, "complimenti, you bitch[es]".

Val-eel-ntino Garavani is very, very pleased you were able to attend tonight.

Anna Winpurr is not known to be very forgiving, even to her most esteemed colleagues at Vogue...

...but Grace Coodington knows, deep down, that she really does respect her creative input.

Owlber Elbaz often describes his work for Lanvin as "classic with a twist".

Kitty Litterfeld once incomprehensibly described his diet as "I eat fish, three times a week meat, and if not yogurt, something like this and it rarely continues."

Moar FASHIMALS can be found here. Photos from FASHIMALS, captions by Yours Truly.

Post by Nicolas Sera-Leyva

"No, I didn't have to fire my assistant for being illiterate. I fired her because her fingers were too fat for her iPhone."

There are a lot of months between February and September. Six to be exact. So in order to survive the days between fashion weeks, we encourage delusional daydreaming and a touch of self-absorption to numb the separation pains:

Load your iPod with the best runway playlists and leave last season’s blazer at home – because when you turn your everyday life into one big fashion show, no one can ever give you standing room.

Mundane Activity #1: Morning Commute on Casual Friday

Mental Retreat: Seventies Marina by IVANAhelsinki

On Your iPod: “It is Familiar” – Bodies of Water, “Home” – Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

A buoyant saunter down Broadway will effortlessly coordinate with Ivana’s breezy look – even if entering your office feels like walking the plank.

Mundane Activity #2: Picking up shoes at the cobbler

Mental Retreat: Daytime RockLuxe by Rebecca Minkoff

On Your iPod: “Fake Tales Of San Francisco” – Artic Monkeys, “Moving To New York” – The Wombats, “Rich Girls” – The Virgins

Some people might ask, “Why do I have to get all dressed up to go to the cobbler?” And that’s why some people won’t get an abandoned pair of Choos for free.

Mundane Activity #3: Renewing your license at the DMV

Mental Retreat: Post-Apocalyptic Amusement Park by martinMARTIN

On Your iPod: “People Are Strange (Chew Fu Manjamango Remix)” – The Doors

People are strange when you’re a stranger. And there is no place stranger than the DMV, so you might as well play the part with style.

Let’s face it – No one’s “to-do” list is exclusively fabulous. Even Anna has to go to the dentist sometimes. While next Monday's activities might not be Tweet-worthy, you don't have to make it look that way.

Post by Amanda LaMela

Right?

This morning, WWD reassured us that Paris Fashion Week remains unaffected by Europe's current terror threat. To the untrained eye, the editors and other members of the fashion elite seem unfazed, but District L will clue you in on the real story:

Anna Wintour: Assistant #3? I've heard murmurs about terror in Paris. Check everyone within 500 yards for red paint... Hello? ...Well, don't just stand there - GO.

Andre Leon Talley: Oh, my dear! It looks like I'll have to change into my Louis Vuitton 'Nonchalance' cape. I'd hate to ruin my purple mink.

Outside the Louvre, smoking a cigarette.

Ines de la Fressange: Karl, darling... Is something bad happening here? Anna's assistant is scouring the Louvre for suspicious activity and Andre is hiding in his Nonchalance cape.

Karl Lagerfeld: Wrong here? Other than this never-ending pregnancy trend, the obesity epidemic, and society's obsession with "love"? Probably.

Ines de la Fressange: Just warn me. I'll just hide inside your collar and -

Karl: Wait! Look!

Ines: What?!

Karl: Are those jogging pants?? I thought I notified the press. Those are the world's stealthiest weapons of ass production.

Post by Amanda LaMela

Anna Wintour adamantly advertises fashion's importance to New York's economy: Our industry generates over $770 million of economic activity in this city alone. Being the most prominent icon in New York fashion, it is no surprise that Mayor Bloomberg has a thing for the thin, DVF-donning editrix. She's powerful, stylish, and she really knows how to stimulate... an economy. She always has a knack for getting people excited - about fashion, of course.

Our delightfully goofy Mayor always seems a bit giggly around fashion's most influential editor. Just last month, he made a few cheesy jokes about how he appreciates a nice boot cut. And while he mispronounced Prabal Gurung's name about six times at an FNO conference, he gave a glowing smile to Anna while gushing about how the fashion industry is made of "the best and the brightest." Aww, aren't you a cutie!

Now we've received word that old man Manhattan will be kicking off the first Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at Lincoln Center. We see what you're trying to do here, Bloomie! But it's going to take a little more than flattery and boot cut pants.

Try closing down Grand Central for Fashion Week. She'd like to have it there next season, please.

The initial event listing has finally been released for the return of Fashion's Night Out on September 10, 2010. While additions are bound to be made in the next 24 days, we have created an anticipatory list of parties that might even make Anna smile.

3.1 Phillip Lim - Phillip will be making an appearance at his Mercer Street store on September 10, 6pm to 9pm. Afterwards, he will join the Rag and Bone team for a street-side party. With performances by My Gold Mask, Lim maintains the chic party aura he established back in 2007.

Alice + Olivia - Are you willing to brave Midtown for FNO? Are you mystifyingly tall and thin? If you answered yes to both of these questions, head over to 80 W. 40th Street for Fashion's Night Out to win a chance to be in the Alice + Olivia S/S11 runway show.

ALTER - If you're a Brooklynite at heart and love a good Photo Booth party, the Fashion's Night Out event at ALTER will suit your needs. Sip champagne and check out the newly unveiled collections at 140 Franklin Street this September 10th.

Twinkle by Wenlan - Twinkle by Wenlan will be teaming up with Coclico to celebrate FNO for a night filled with champagne, shopping, and surprises. After Twinkle's solid show last season, Wenlan is certainly a designer to keep on your radar.

Post by Amanda LaMela

Even the teenage Anna is seething.

"If thousands of people get to feel included from the outside, than actual, inside attendance will become more and more exclusive. Otherwise, how will the important people know they’re important?”

-an Anonymous magazine editor regarding efforts on the part of many designers to break down fashion's wall of "exclusivity".

Alexander Wang aired his show in Times Square, Dolce and Gabbana will be available directly onto your iPhone, and Showstudio is streaming more live shows than ever before. Technology is breaking down the barrier between the riff-raff and the runway, but you can never alienate the elite.

You'll never eat dinner here.

Graydon Carter restaurant and sister dig to the Waverly Inn, Monkey Bar has very recently and very quietly become one of NYC's hottest tables. So hot in fact that they no longer have a reservations number- if you aren't famous, Anna Wintour, or both, then you simply have to do without.

Carter so meticulously cultivates his rose garden of celebrity clientele that he has one of his associate editors at Vanity Fair craft a seating chart every day of the week; your chances are killed before you even have one.

We told you about Anna Wintour's recent sighting at the E. 54th Street establishment, wining and dining White House Social Secretary Desiree Rogers- apparently word travels fast. As much as District L despises being told they can't have something, no fear.

Our usual table at the Armani Flagship on 5th will do just fine.